Unshakable Worth

“Be yourself—everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

You learned early on that love felt conditional, tied to performance and approval. This belief made you feel unworthy of love for simply being yourself. It fed your insecurities—not just of not being good enough, but of being fundamentally flawed.

You allowed the opinions of others to shape your view of yourself. When kids poked fun at your curly hair or your overweight body, their words fueled the hole inside you, one you tried to fill with food, humor, or anything you thought would earn approval. You believed love had to be earned and that your worth depended on how well you could entertain, perform, or conform.

You built an identity not on what you liked but on what you thought might make you likable. You created a binary world inside your head, one where acceptance or rejection by others defined your worth. Every action—what you wore, what you said, who you tried to befriend—became a performance aimed at pleasing an audience you could never fully satisfy.

If you could go back now, what would you tell that boy?

You would tell him that love does not need to be earned. That his worth is intrinsic and unshakable, no matter his weight, his hair, or his jokes. You would tell him that the opinions of others, though loud, do not define him. That the joy he found in certain activities deserved his full attention—not to be overshadowed by the constant search for approval.

You would remind him that his insecurities, though painful, taught him resilience. They showed him how to empathize with others who feel unseen. They taught him to find strength not in external validation but in building a life rooted in authenticity.

Would you change that boy? Perhaps not entirely. His misplaced efforts, though misunderstood, paved the way for the man he became. They forced him to reflect, grow, and eventually understand what true self-worth looks like. But you would help him shed the unhealthy shame that shaped so much of his identity. You would show him that flaws are not failings but the marks of being human.

You would teach him that approval and acceptance do not define him. That his worth is not binary but infinite. And in doing so, you might allow him to step more fully into a life of confidence, joy, and authenticity.